Presidential candidates as college football teams
Ever wondered who the presidential candidates would be as college football teams? Adam Milliken satisfies your curiosity with this article.
Photo by Roger H. Goun, courtesy of creativecommons.org. No changes made.
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Sports is a field in which many interesting and fun debates can exist and take place. With Monday being recognized as President’s Day, here is a fun conversation to have. What college football team would each of the presidential candidates be?
Democrats
Hillary Clinton – Penn State
Old, traditional, slightly boring, seen as not authentic, and bundled with scandal…descriptions that could be used to describe Clinton or Penn State. Penn State is as traditional as it gets in college football; from its uniforms, to the way the Nittany Lions play the game, to the way they handle themselves. Both have their scandals as well. Penn State has the sexual assault charges and Hillary has both Benghazi and the email fiasco.
Bernie Sanders – Oregon
Sanders can be compared to Oregon’s program for a few reasons. They are both rather old, they both try to be hip and cool, and they both try to appeal to younger people with their actions. Another distinguishing trait of these two is that neither has achieved the level of success that they desire and that many feel they are capable of.
Martin O’Malley – Vanderbilt
O’Malley is Vanderbilt for two simple reasons. One, they are both forgotten about by many people. Two, neither ever stood a chance to compete for anything. No chance to be a contender and largely forgotten about? Sounds like Vanderbilt to me.
Republicans
Donald Trump – Florida State
Trump and Florida State are a great fit. They both exude arrogance, they both love to trash talk, they are both loud and obnoxious, and they both have numerous scandals and allegations brought against them. Perhaps the most revealing comparison, though, is how they both seem to remain relevant without anyone really knowing how.
Marco Rubio – Clemson
Rubio is that entity that is always just on the cusp of greatness, the next big thing, one more year away. That may sound familiar to Tennessee fans, but there is a team that has been on that cusp for far longer — Clemson. Like Rubio, Clemson is almost always near the top and in contention, but it just can’t get over the final hump.
Jeb Bush – Georgia
This comparison is pretty simple for me. Both Georgia and Bush are usually pretty solid, consistent, and have a presence, but they’re not great and they never really reach up and achieve more. Auburn can be an honorable mention here, as both Jeb and Auburn are overshadowed by their older brothers (George Bush and Alabama, respectively).
Ben Carson – Northwestern
Carson is Northwestern. For one, both are widely considered as very intelligent. Both have seemingly been on the rise recently. And both were crushed when going up against a real contender.
Ted Cruz – Ohio State
Cruz is loud, obnoxious, and has scandals. Just like a certain team in Ohio that calls themselves the Buckeyes. While both have achieved a measure of success, many people are tired of them and wish they would go away.
Featured image by Roger H. Goun
Edited by Cody McClure
Adam is the Assistant Sports Editor for the Tennessee Journalist and a Junior at UT. Most of his free time is spent watching sports, listening to good music, and enjoying life. If you wish to contact him, you can email him at amillike@vols.utk.edu, follow him on Twitter, @AdamMilliken14, or find him at https://www.linkedin.com/pub/adam-milliken/109/a89/a32.
“Rubio is that entity that is always just on the cusp of greatness, the next big thing, one more year away. That may sound familiar to Tennessee fans, but there is a team that has been on that cusp for far longer — Clemson.”
Haha, Tennessee fans are so delusional. Nobody outside of Tennessee has thought that the Vols were on the cusp of greatness for well over a decade. If Tennessee were a candidate, it would be if Al Gore decided to run this year.
What scandals does Cruz have? I’d be proud to call him a Buckeye.
” Just like a certain team in Ohio that calls themselves the Buckeyes.”
The irony of this coming from a Vols site.
“many people are tired of them and wish they would go away.”
I know a Tennessee fan won’t understand this, but when you win a lot, you get to brag about it. I guess 65 losses since ’05 is nothing to brag about.
And Tennessee doesn’t have scandals?