April 17, 2024

An unreliable, unrealistic outlook for the Vols in 2015

Tennessee is looking at a potential 15-0 national championship season in 2015.

Neyland Stadium fans participating in "Checker Neyland" during the Tennessee-Florida game in Knoxville on Oct. 4, 2014.

Earlier this week, Bleacher Report published this bold predictions article for the College Football Playoff in the 2015-2016 season, predicting Tennessee to win it all. Yes, the championship. The whole thing.

To some, this “bold predictions” article is more of a fantasy hype article to fuel the flame of fanbases, like Tennessee’s, that have high expectations for this upcoming season.

To others, it would be considered asinine to predict Tennessee to win the championship this season. The Vols, coming off a 7-6 season – their first winning season since 2007 – have another promising class of recruits and a plethora of returning players on both sides of the ball but seem to lack the depth of a true championship team.

But a team that has no business winning a national championship storming up the ranks and winning it all? Now that’s college football at its best.

Tennessee is going 15-0 in the 2015-2016 season.

Returning starting quarterback Joshua Dobbs, otherwise known as “Space Dobbs” or “Astro Dobbs,” has all the play-making tools to lead a talent-laden team on a championship run.

Jalen Hurd will break Travis Stephens’ single season rushing yards record in the Vanderbilt game. And on the next play, Alvin Kamara will break now-Jalen Hurd’s single season rushing yards record.

But don’t forget about the defense. The Vols will have one of the best defensive lines in recent Tennessee history. Returning freshman All-American Derek Barnett is the best player named Derek Barnett that also wears No. 9 and plays for Tennessee to ever play for Tennessee.  He is joined on the outside by senior Curt Maggitt, who has the best dance moves and second best hairdo on the team.

Shy Tuttle, Kahlil McKenzie and Kyle Phillips, all consensus top-15 defensive line prospects, will play alongside Barnett and Maggitt. This year’s defense will set the record for the most safeties ever by a Tennessee defense. The opposing quarterback will take one look at the Vols’ defensive line and just take off running the other way. He will run through the back of the endzone for a safety and just keep going. All the way to the locker room. And he will cry a sweet cry and wish he played golf instead.

‘3rd Down For What’ will play before every down at Neyland Stadium. Opposing teams will get so sick of it that they will just start forfeiting at halftime. On the road, the band plays it so loudly that home teams get distracted and Jalen Hurd or Alvin Kamara will run by them for an easy touchdown.

Butch Jones will lead the greatest team to ever play football to a 15-0 record and a national championship. Knoxville will party like it’s 1999. Dave Hart will jump up and down and his hair will flow gracefully in the wind. Smokey will eat championship trophy-shaped milk bones until he gets too fat to move. Josh Dobbs will leave for the NASA Draft and will be the No. 1 overall pick, eventually discovering how to create a wormhole and leading a team to populate a planet in a distant galaxy. Watch out for the Tennessee Volunteers, the 2015-2016 National Champions.

(Coach Jones will have Tennessee competing for an SEC Championship and a possible College Football Playoff berth in couple of years, but expecting that this year really IS asinine, Tennessee is probably on pace for an 8 win season – possibly 9 or 10 depending on how they play on the road, and should play in a higher bowl against a second or third place B1G or Big XII team).

Edited by Cody McClure

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Nathan is a junior at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville. He spends most of his free time eating meaningless foods and watching sports. If you wish to contact Nathan, you can email him at wodom3@vols.utk.edu or find him on Twitter, @NathanOdom11.