I'm going to let everyone in on a little secret of mine: I waste at least $8.25 plus tax a month on trashy magazines.

I know this may not sound shocking or come off as too much of a waste. But because of recent investigation, I have come to the conclusion that it really, truly is a waste. Take for example my favorite guilty pleasure: Cosmopolitan.

I love you Cosmo. I have learned so much from it. When I go to Walgreen's to pick up prescriptions, there it is, on time and faithful as always. But it's time I expose it for what it really is.

After finally buckling down and cleaning up my room, I found three old Cosmopolitan magazines: November 2007, December 2007 and January 2008. This is when I realized the shocking secret: Every issue is exactly the same besides the model on the cover.

Men, if you are reading this, I'm sorry. Women disregarded the truth for so long, but we can no longer. Here are some clues that point to the shocking, yet undeniable truth.

Take for example, the cover. Here are the cover stories for the November issue of Cosmopolitan. Under each letter will be a similar title from the two other Cosmopolitan issues at my disposal. 

• November 2007 issue: "Guys' Sex Confessions: Surprising Stuff They Don't Want From You in the Sack"   
  • December 2007 issue: "The Sex Position He Craves: It Gives Him the Hottest View...and Hits All the Right Spots"
  • January 2008 issue: "How to Stay Hot For Each Other: Hint: Try the Special 10 p.m. Touch"
• November 2007 issue: "What's Your Sex Style? Figuring out yours - and his - will double your bliss!"
  • December 2007 issue: "Deep Sex: Breathing and Touch Techniques That Are So Intense, You'll Both Reach a New Level of Pleasure"
  • January 2008 issue: "Dirty Sexy Sex: Top Pleasure Experts Share Moves So New and Naughty, You Could Only Read Them Here"
• November 2007 issue: "The Hottest Things to Do to a Man With Your Hands"
  • December 2007 issue: "Guys Spill" and "The 22 Best Relationship Tips Ever"
  • January 2008 issue: "Bedside Astrologer 2008: Your Life/Love Predictions"

Shocking, isn't it? It's almost as shocking as the recent Miley Cyrus phenomenon, but not quite. I can just paste a new picture on the cover and create an entire new issue.

After rereading this, I realized: Oh my God, I'm one of those women that give a bad name to women. By buying these magazines, I am supporting the idea that all women live just for the purpose of giggling, sex, make up and pleasing their men-folk.

I'd like to end this article saying I will never buy a Cosmopolitan magazine again. I'd also like to promise I won't wear any more clothing or make-up for the visual pleasure of another human being. This includes straightening my hair and tanning.

But I'm afraid I can't do that.

Ladies, maybe you have better self-control and dignity than I; now equipped with the necessary information about this magazine scandal, do what you must.

Men, take pity on us poor, addicted women. We only mean the best.

To Cosmopolitan: You should be ashamed.