"Shoot ‘Em Up" is undoubtedly one of the most ingenious, most far-fetched and most action-packed shoot-‘em-ups since John Woo's grandiose action spectacle "Hard-Boiled." Where many other flicks in the same genre drastically fail, "Shoot ‘Em Up" scores big time. The movie never has to rely on its ridiculous story to succeed, but instead builds solid and memorable characters, keeps the pace at the highest possible level for 93 straight minutes and provokes more laughter than you can handle. So take my personal advice, give your brain a break, sit back and simply enjoy the delicious silliness of this hardcore action extravaganza.

As the movie opens, we are introduced to Mr. Smith (Clive Owen), who calmly sits on a bus bench chewing on his carrot. Seconds later, a pregnant woman minutes away from giving birth stumbles around the street corner, closely followed by a horde of ruthless killers who apparently want her and her baby dead. Smith is hardly impressed at first, but being the man he is, he dumps his carrot and decides to intervene. Next thing we know he's helping the woman deliver her baby in a warehouse while simultaneously taking out at least 20 bad guys.

And that pretty much sums it up for the plot already. For the next hour and a half, Smith stops at absolutely nothing to protect the infant from a sadistic hitman named Mr. Hertz (Paul Giamatti), who orchestrated the entire assassination. Smith's only ally in this fierce quest for survival is a popular hooker (Monica Bellucci), who has no business babysitting a strange kid but quickly ends up becoming a target herself. And with that, the ultimate battle may begin.

Writer-director Michael Davis' script is wildly absurd for so many reasons, but considering the intensity of the first-class action and the brilliance behind the non-stop shootouts, cutting-edge stunts and pursuits that dominate the plot, "Shoot ‘Em Up" is a unique celebration for every hardcore fan of the genre. Whether Smith shoots 15 people from various positions while making love to his hooker, or whether he jumps all around his own place firing a submachine gun and holding the baby in one arm at the same time, the list of insane sequences is endless.

It is practically impossible to decide which battle in the flick is the sharpest. 

Given the striking diversity of every of those action scenes, it is practically impossible to decide on which battle in the flick is the sharpest. Sure, the level of implausibility dramatically rises as the running time nears its end, but every shootout is unique in itself, thus making it a lot harder for any lunatic filmmaker to top "Shoot ‘Em Up" in the near future. Moreover, the film majestically succeeds in never taking itself too seriously, offering endless opportunities for satirical commentary. Whether Smith or Hertz take on guns or politics, the hilarious gags and wordplays keep coming as much as the bullets keep flying around.

Clive Owen is truly brilliant in the role of Smith, the life savior and gun expert. He adores chewing on carrots (Bugs Bunny, anyone?), his face radiates a continuous coolness, he's got all the right moves and can deliver any wacky line you supply him with. Smith anticipates every move from his enemies and always has at least one loaded gun within reach. Although we know from the beginning that nobody will ever beat this guy, Owen maintains the suspense in surprising us with over-the-top stunts and improvised one-liners. The same goes for Paul Giamatti, who's got the looks that kill, plays a ferocious brute and can be just as uproarious.

"Shoot ‘Em Up" is a film designed for action fans with a strong stomach who don't mind watching gruesome violence and laugh at the same time. Logic is conspicuously absent in the story, but hey, if every other aspect in this movie just keeps pushing you off the edge of your seat, where is the problem? This flick is about hilarious situations involving bullets, blood, laughter and sex, and if that's indeed on your movie schedule for the weekend, well...go shoot ‘em up already.