The confusion, disagreements and misunderstandings between men and women seem like a never-ending cycle. There are so many thoughts and feelings that women have about men. These are so complex it seems near impossible to articulate them. This makes me wonder if men have similar feelings toward women.

This is why if I were a man I would try my hardest to be empathetic and understanding. This seems like an average, boring, run-of-the-mill reaction, but there is a lot to it.

If I were a man I would strive to be empathetic to women. Although, as a woman, I don't think a man can truly understand how a woman is feeling sometimes, I think it would be important to try. A man may never be able to truly empathize with a woman on those notorious 'fat days' but I would be patient and reassuring.

If I were a man the words, "If you call yourself fat one more time, I'll just start agreeing with you," would never exit my lips. That would be stupid. Instead, I would say, "Well, the guy at the bar last night didn't seem to think so. He couldn't take his eyes off you." Even if it weren't true.

After mastering the art of empathy I would master the art of cooking. It is important to be able to make a few fabulous meals from start to finish. Nothing overtly fancified, but definitely edible, and hopefully enjoyable.

With all this talk of empathy and cooking, one might assume I'm just creating the outline of my own perfect man. I am. If I were a man I would want to be the perfect man. Who doesn't want to be perfect? 

If I were a man I would have a ton of tattoos. Instead of spending my life's earnings on clothes and make-up (like I do now), I would spend my savings on tattoos. Besides the aesthetic appeal of them, I like a man who embodies the concept of walking art.

 I don't think I would be a mama's boy. If I were a man I would be a  real man's man. I think it is important for everyone (male or female) to know how to fix a flat tire, or even change their own oil. However, since it is so much more socially acceptable to work on cars as a male, I think that is something I would get into.

I would absolutely be hard-working and determined. Nothing is less attractive than a man with no plan.